When did Book Week turn from a celebration of literature to a week propping up Kmart’s bottom line?

Just kidding. This is not ‘that’ kind of article.

As much as I love books and legitimate authors, I bought my kids’ costume too so I’m in no position to grandstand.

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I even left it so late that Kmart and Spotlight had sold out, so I had to source my outfit from the very expensive costume shop instead. That’s karma for you.

I use the term ‘my’ deliberately because, let’s be honest, under a certain age there is very little creativity that comes from the kids. This is the most competitive week on the school calendar for parents.

Book Week really separates the parenting wheat from the chaff.

The wheat, in this case, are the mums and dads who painstakingly craft their kids’ costumes from scratch with just a glue gun and 10 leftover toilet rolls.

The chaff is the rest of us who fashion last year’s Wednesday Addams Halloween costume into tomorrow’s Room on the Broom witches get-up or whatever is in the recycling bin into The Paper Bag Princess.

This year, my daughter wants to go as Alice in Wonderland as we have just finished reading the chapter book at bedtime.

This is an excellent result and a parenting triumph; everyone else in the playground can now see how highbrow and scholarly we are in our household.

Unless she stands too close to her little brother.

My son is going as Hulk in a highly flammable costume from Temu.

Technically, there was a comic book first but that’s certainly not how my son became acquainted with the genetically modified green Gamma man.

This is classic Book Week reverse engineering.

Find the costume and then find the book. A quick search of the shelves at Big W revealed the Marvel Character Encyclopaedia. That will do.

I used to have standards. No movies, no TV shows, only classic children’s literature like Dr Seuss or The Faraway Tree.

Then a little girl came to daycare dressed as Taylor Swift.

Before you ask, there’s a book for that too. You can pick from the Little People, Big Dreams series or the Little Golden Book that tells Taylor’s life story.

It’s a week to teach resilience and ingenuity, mostly to adults over 40 but occasionally to the dressed-up kids.

A quick call out on social media unearthed the most hilarious Book Week fails.

Miranda wanted to go as a Ninja Turtle, so her mum stuck a turtle shaped potty to her back.

Nell was accidentally sent to school a week early as a pirate; when the principal tried to remove her moustache and eye patch, it was quickly revealed as permanent marker.

Courtney dressed her daughter, Sadie, up as Matilda with her blonde hair sprayed brown only to realise school photos were the next day and there was no chance of getting it out.

Nik’s daughter, Hattie, went as Macca the Alpaca, but the cotton wall balls kept falling off so by the time of the parade, she had what looked like dags hanging around her pants.

Now, that is how you teach resilience.

Instead of cancelling our Book Parade today in torrential rain, the school is moving ahead with it.

Leaving the parents dressed as the Book of Genesis and the drenched kids going two by two into the Ark.

At least we’ll have a story to tell.