Former Collingwood and North Melbourne forward Jaidyn Stephenson has opened up on the trail of thoughts that led to his early AFL retirement.

The 2018 AFL Rising Star winner had an electric start to his career, kicking 38 goals in all 26 games for the Magpies, including their grand final loss to West Coast.

WATCH THE VIDEO ABOVE: Jaidyn Stephenson opens up on decision to retire early.

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He was part of a largely successful team that won 34 of his 54 games at the club, before being squeezed out at the end of 2020 in a salary cap dump that also saw Adam Treloar, Tom Phillips and Atu Bosenavulagi effectively forced out the door.

Stephenson went to North Melbourne, where he was a part of just eight wins across 68 games, including only one win in 2022.

It became a constant struggle that started to eat away at his love for the game, as he tells What Could’ve Been, and ultimately led to his retirement at just 25 last year.

“I had games where I had 24 (disposals) and kicked three, and then you come out of your game review, and I felt pretty flat,” Stephenson told the www.20304050.best podcast.

“It was like, ‘I’ve done this wrong and I’ve done that wrong’ — is it because we lost or is it actually what it is? I don’t know, everything just seemed to be amplified, and I obviously didn’t deal with it well enough, and it did just start to weigh and weigh and weigh.

“Eventually I just didn’t want to be there — fell out of love with it, was over it. It was tough.”

The former No.6 draft pick, who spent four seasons at the Kangaroos after his three at the Pies, says he started to consider his future in the game at the end of his second year at Arden Street.

“I had that off-season to think about things, and we’d won like four games in the two years I’d been there, I’d played every game, and I just thought, ‘Geez, this is a real drag’,” he said.

“I didn’t want to go back.

“(But) I was like, I don’t really have a choice, I’m signed for two more years, we’ll try make the most of it.

“And you know what, pre-seasons I actually always enjoyed and always was fully invested and did well.

“But then five losses come in the first five rounds and it’s back to the old, ‘Do better, do this, do that’. And if it was ground balls one week, you focus on that, you get them good that week, then it’s like, ‘Oh, what about your marking?’

“It just felt like that for me, and it obviously was just deflating. I sort of realised that my time, certainly at North, was done.”

Listen to What Could’ve Been with Jaidyn Stephenson below, or subscribe on Spotify, Apple, Spotify, or watch on YouTube.

Stephenson, who was a key contributor to what was one kick away from being a premiership team in 2018, started to find himself in and out of Alastair Clarkson’s team at North Melbourne.

But he says he actually found some solace playing in the VFL.

“I think I played maybe 10 or eight VFL games last year, so sort of was in-out, was getting in the VFL playing some really good games — I actually really enjoyed playing in the VFL,” he said.

“When the chips were down and I wasn’t enjoying being in that AFL high stress, playing in the VFL was a delight. I had (former Adelaide and North Melbourne forward) Tom Lynch there as my coach, he’s one of the better blokes I’ve met in football.

“Tom Lynch was just really friendly, he was one of those people that made you feel good, and I was able to do that in the VFL, and my footy was a lot better in the VFL. But that was the end for me.

Now working as an apprentice refrigerator mechanic and playing local footy for his junior club Ferntree Gully in the Eastern Football Netball League, Stephenson says he did consider looking for a third club before pulling the pin completely last year.

“I did look into it, but it was hard, I don’t know — at the time I thought maybe is it just football in general? Is it really going to help going somewhere else?” he said.

“And I decided that it mightn’t help anyway, so I’m better off just getting out of the AFL bubble completely and just seeing how life is outside of that.

“Now I look back — it probably may have helped had I gone somewhere else.”